The Billionaire Problem in the United States and throughout the world is something much on the minds of people these days and I have a Modest Proposal for a solution. Billionaires, as we well know, are a persecuted class. Attacked on all sides by socialists, communists, democrats, demons, devils, aliens, both terrestrial and extra-terrestrial, poor people, middle-class people, and even some of the misguided wealthy people of the world. That is to say, everyone except the wise judicial branch of government.
Once cannot deny the Billionaire Problem exists and I want to offer a simple, easy, and permanent solution to the problem.
What is the Billionaire Problem?
I suppose the first thing I must address in this Modest Proposal is the actual problem. Billionaires are social minded, job creating, decent, hard-working citizens but they are under siege from the aforementioned malcontents.
The miserable and jealous masses are, for some reason, opposed to the useful and universally beneficial Data Centers that do nothing except improve our lives. Billionaire Tech Bros are subject to legal attacks from all sides. Sony, as another example, must fight to prevent people from actually and horrifyingly owning their own video games. Robert Kraft cannot solicit prostitutes without being harassed by small-minded law-enforcement officials.
The owner of the Los Angeles Clippers faces ludicrous and unreasonable punishment for perfectly normal activities in which he absolutely, positively, did nothing wrong.
Billionaire after billionaire is being forced to hire lawyers to justify their harmless and reasonable relationships with underage girls.
I suppose I could continue with example after examples of the unfair and unreasonable billionaire problem but I think I’ve illustrated the point well enough. The solution is quite simple.
The Billionaire Problem Solution
We see time and time again the blind and completely unbiased justice system exonerating billionaires from local courts all the way to the perfect and obviously infallible Supreme Court. Billionaires always win because they are always right. They do nothing wrong. Ever. The evidence is clear so I think we must simply stop wasting our precious billionaire’s time and money.
The solution is my modest proposal. We must do what is in the interest of everyone, all the people, and simply make the billionaires a protected class; immune from lawsuits, immune from prison, immune from punishment of any kind. Only then will we solve the billionaire problem.
The courts already implement this obvious and simple solution but it takes too much time and effort. Simply cut to the quick of the problem. Total immunity. It is perfectly obvious and clear. Anyone who disagrees is a fool.
Tom Liberman