Being from St. Louis, I’m doing my civic duty and watching DTF St. Louis. I’m not much enjoying it but that’s not the topic I’d like to discuss today. I spotted an interesting writer mess up in episode two. Or it’s possible the mess up was not a mistake but an intentional instance of having a character lie.
The problem is my confusion about the scene, which of those two things was going on. It gives me an opportunity to talk about writing and one of the things I think it’s good for authors to try to avoid.
The Scene with the Writer Mess Up (or the Lie)
DTF St. Louis tells the story of Clark who is having an affair with Carol who is married to Floyd. I’m not going to go into more detail because that’s not the focus of today’s article. It’s not about the show, it’s about the writer mess up.
It’s established very early in the first episode that Carol makes money on the side by umpiring baseball games. She’s seen in her ridiculously oversized uniform multiple times and Floyd talks to Clark about it in an early scene.
Clark and Carol are flirting and Carol suggests going to a Cardinals game. Clark mentions that his television station gets blocks of tickets and they should catch a game. At this point Carol says she’s never been to a game and she’s not sure if she would even understand what is going on.
I immediately sat up in my chair, my face scrunched up in that infamous Tom Liberman What you talking about Willis expression. She’s a baseball umpire. Clark knows this. She knows all about baseball. She’s clearly a fan of baseball or she wouldn’t have a job umpiring games.
Was Shy Lying or was it a Writer Mess Up?
Sometime later in the show, whilst I was bored with the endless and painful dialog, it occurred to me perhaps the writers did it on purpose to show Carol as a deceitful person. They wanted us to know of her manipulative nature.
I’m still fairly confident it was just a writer mess up but my confusion is, in itself, an indication of a problem with the writing. If Carol was lying the audience should know that she’s lying. The point should be to paint her as a deceitful character and, frankly, a stupid one. She’s an umpire, everyone knows about her side-gig. The lie is blatant and will obviously be exposed sooner rather than later. It’s a terrible lie.
The fact that I don’t know which one with any certainty distracts me from the episode, and I didn’t need anything else to get me to stop watching and look at my phone. Yawn.
Conclusion
If it was a mess up, it’s an indicator of lack of attention to detail. If it was a lie, it’s a bad character development because I can’t distinguish between the two possibilities. In either case, it’s poor writing.
The audience needs to be immersed, we need to believe the characters and events, we need to be drawn in, not forcibly kicked out.
Oh, yeah, the actual ballgame was the single most unconvincing stadium and crowd scene I’ve ever witnessed. Everyone sitting like cardboard cutouts, unemotional, not cheering, not booing, not eating a hot dog. Just sitting quietly, staring straight ahead, while the Clark and Carol had yet another unconvincing dialog. At least the fans wore Cardinals gear.
Tom Liberman