Princess Caitlin Clark is now whining about a player smashing her knee into Caitlin’s leg because now she has to play with a bruise. Oh no! Another horror case of monstrous WNBA players picking on poor pretty princess Caitlin. Alert Congress! Unleash the media, mobilize the army of simp Caitlin lovers. This horrible atrocity cannot be allowed to stand!

We must watch another thousand highlights of Princess Caitlin charging across the court, arms flailing, her face a mask of grief and outrage at the unfairness of it all as she screams at the referee.

Princess Caitlin Wasn’t even Fouled

Hmm, looking at the video, it was Princess Caitlin who rammed her leg into her opponent. What a shocker. She’s complaining about how she is so horribly mistreated. Well, boys and girls, you may not like it but she’s not the one that’s horribly mistreated. She’s so used to the referees bending over backward to make sure things go her way that she actually believes the nonsense she’s spewing.

She’s so accustomed to every sycophantic simp telling her she’s the greatest that it doesn’t even occur to her how she isn’t mistreated, it’s the opposite, she gets special treatment on the court. How the refs contrived to get her team into the NCAA championship game with nonsense calls. Ask Paige Bueckers who is every bit as good as Caitlin but not as marketable.

Princess Caitlin Needs to put on Her Big Woman Pants

I can already hear the outrage in my comments. Wah, wah, it’s not fair, Princess Caitlin gets attacked out there. I’ve seen it. Well, bub, what you’re telling me is you’ve never watched a WNBA game but you’ve seen plenty of highlights of Princess Caitlin whining. Those WNBA women are tall, big, strong, fast, and tough. They play hard. They are the top-level professionals at their game. Princess Caitlin doesn’t get fouled or hit any more than anyone else, probably less, despite her histrionics every time someone waves an arm in the same zip code.

Jordan Rules, Hack-a-Shack. Did opponents let Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and Kobe Bryant just waltz around? No, they pushed, they shoved, they elbowed. Did no one ever try to take Ozzie Smith out at second base? They tried to kill him. Does Erling Haaland stand in the middle surrounded by a halo of light? No, he’s constantly harassed. It’s a physical game being played at the top level, stars get attention, physical attention.

Conclusion

Finally, and this will come as a surprise to those of you who made it this far without being triggered and raging off. I like Caitlin, I think she’s a great player, a great ambassador for the game. I want her and the league to succeed. She needs to stop whining, stop expecting every call to go her way, do what Magic, Larry, Michael, and Kobe did, go out and take championships instead of expecting people to give them to her.

Tom Liberman