Mother and I are watching the second season of a show called Patience and a scene occurred which failed to deliver believable dialog. This particular scene isn’t my only problem with the show, it’s okay at best and sometimes downright ludicrous but I thought it was a good reason for me to pontificate about better writing strategies.

One of the most important things in writing is believable dialog. If the person talking says something that doesn’t seem believable, it detracts from immersion. That is to say, instead of watching the show and being caught up in events, the audience starts thinking about the implausibility of what was just said.

The Lack of Believable Dialog in Question

Patience is a detective show where the titular character, Patience Evans, is file clerk who becomes involved in cases using her amazing power of autism. Don’t get me started on that; although if you read the reviews from autistic people; you’ll get the gist.

In any case, the not believable dialog in this instance came from a sort of one-off situation that I didn’t really understand being in the show in the first place. That is, my immersion was already in doubt when it happened.

The police inspector was speaking with a public relations employee about talking to the public more often. The inspector is a kindly, patient, understanding, rather rumpled and approachable man. A real sweetheart.

The PR person said words to the effect that the department wants him to more approachable, kind, patient, and understanding so the public will look more favorably on the them.

The problem here should be fairly evident. The inspector as portrayed is all of those things. He doesn’t need to be coached to be more like that, it’s pretty much his defining personality. Sweet, approachable, sensitive.

The dialog is terrible because it doesn’t make any sense. Now, if the PR person told him that he needs to be no-nonsense, factual, clear, and formidable in the press conference to give people the impression of competence and authority, that makes sense.

On the other hand, let’s imagine the inspector is one of those tough, no-nonsense sorts with an icy demeanor. Then the dialog in question works perfectly.

Therein lies my problem. What was said isn’t just unbelievable but it’s so easily fixed. Change one line of dialog and you’re all good. It’s that simple.

Conclusion

I’m perfectly aware that I’m far from a notable author and whoever wrote this line of dialog is a professional in their field. That being said, I think I have a good understanding of how to make writing immersive and part of that is believable dialog.

For those who are fans or not fans of the show and saw the episode in question. Am I a pompous old boomer full of himself or do I make sense?

Tom Liberman