Candace Bure and the Misleading Headline

Candace Cameron Bure

I’m not sure misleading is the proper category for the headline that suggests Candace Cameron Bure isn’t getting older but it does present an opportunity to allow my inner Grammar Police personality out in all its annoying glory. You guessed it; it’s time to learn the difference between Literally and Figuratively. Yay!

When someone says something happened in a literal fashion what they are saying is that it actually happened. While it may sound crazy what I’m telling you, it really did happen. An example might be shy, socially inept me was sitting at the bar at my favorite watering hole, Sub Zero when a quite attractive dark-haired vixen with impressive surgical enhancement cozied up a few stools down. I literally moved over and engaged her in conversation. Hard to believe, yes, but literally true.

Now, an example of figurative. Later, after a few direct messages she figuratively blew me off. That is to say, she stopped responding to my texts. If she literally blew me off that would mean that with her breath or perhaps her hair dryer, she aimed a gust of wind at me and sent me cartwheeling off to the barrel of rejected boys. The barrel of rejected boys is, by the way, also figurative.

If Bure literally stopped aging it would certainly amount to a medical miracle and the poor young woman would be subject to a hurricane, figurative of course, of lab tests.

Now, my disciples, go out into the world and use figuratively and literally properly!

Tom Liberman

Thule Air Force Base Meteor Misleading Headline

Meteor Strike Misleading HeadlineA Misleading Headline would suggest to you that the United States Air Force is covering up an enormous meteor strike that hit near the Thule Air Force base in Greenland. It’s true a meteor did explode some twenty-seven miles above the earth with a force of 2.1 kilotons. It’s also true the Air Force is not reporting about the incident. That may seem like some sort of cover up but you have to take several factors in to account.

First, the Air Force isn’t the one that reports meteor strikes, that’s the job of NASA and their Fireball and Bolide Report. That report includes this particular strike. The data indicates it was no different than dozens of other such events that occur yearly. So unremarkable was the strike that no one even bothered to write a story about it until it was reported by an Australian Astronomy organization.

Then Fox News got a hold of the article and began splashing the headline across its front page. Suddenly it was a huge story. It’s not.

Tom Liberman

Jail for Baptizing Baby Misleading Headline

The headline reads: North Carolina mother jailed for baptizing 2-year-old daughter. The reality is quite different. Kendra Stocks was jailed for violating a court order that gave the baby’s father final say in legal custody decisions including those of a religious nature.

Stocks was specifically told by the judge not to have the Baptism without the father present. The two are engaged in a custody battle over the baby. She went ahead and did it anyway. Now she’s in jail.

I would hope nobody has a problem with it.

Tom

Early Morning Exercise Bad for You Misleading Headline

Exercise UnhealthyHow Waking Up Early in the morning could be Counterproductive blares the misleading headline from PopSugar. Yeah, well, what they mean is not getting enough sleep is unhealthy. Duh. Exercise has nothing to do with the problem.

The idea is that people get up early to exercise and this cuts into their regular sleep schedule. Exercise is almost always good for you barring extreme overworking.

So there you go. Get your sleep and exercise. You heard it here first.

Oh, and SugarPop, you win my not so weekly Misleading Headline of the Week award.

Tom Liberman

Josh Rosen Disses Alabama Misleading Headline

josh-rosenThe Headline Screams: UCLA Quarterback Josh Rosen: Raise the SAT Requirement at Alabama and See what kind of team they have.

It seems like if you use a direct quote from someone it can’t possibly be a misleading headline but that’s exactly what happened in this case. What Rosen was talking about is the terrible incongruity between being a college football player and being a student. In the majority if the article he talks about how spending last season injured was a hugely eye opening experience. He was able to spend more time taking classes than he would normally be allowed to do. He learned that many of the requirements of his economic major are not even available at the times his normally limited schedule allow.

He used the Alabama quote not to deride Alabama but to simply illustrate that it’s impossible for many of the best young football players in the nation to also excel at academics. What he said, and I think he said it effectively, is that no Division I college football team is made up of athletes who are stellar students. That if we want to limit college athletes to the best students, the quality of football will suffer.

He was saying that the job of being a college athlete largely precludes being a strong student. Both are jobs and you can’t work hard at one without the second suffering. The primary job of young college football players is to play, not to study. Their schedules are designed to make it extremely difficult to accomplish both.

Perhaps he should have used UCLA as an example rather than Alabama but I have no problem with his basic point and I hate to see him getting trashed because of a Misleading Headline.

Tom Liberman

Chess Prodigy Misleading Headline

shogi recordJapanese chess prodigy, 14, breaks 30-year winning streak record screams the headline. Yes, he is 14. Yes, he did break a winning streak record. No, it wasn’t chess. He plays chess and is reportedly good at it, but the streak was in a game called Shogi.

What’s wrong with a headline saying he broke a Shogi record? I’m a chess player and had never heard of a winning streak record so I was intrigued by the article. Nothing against Sota Fujii who is clearly a fine player of Shogi. I just wish the headline could have been more honest.

Tom Liberman

 

Stoned BMW Workers Misleading Headline

bmw-workersStoned Assembly Line Workers Cost BMW $1 Million in One Day, Report Claims: Screams the misleading headline from TheDrive. The implication is BMW workers were high on marijuana and made some horrible mistake.

This one’s a doozy. If you read the headline and the first paragraph you’ll assume  the two BMW workers smoked a marijuana joint and then collapsed on the line causing a forty minute shutdown. This costs BMW about a million dollars.

It’s a good thing your trusty sniffer out of misleading headlines, that’s me, is on the case!

In the story we find out that one of the workers was way, way over the legal limit for alcohol and the other was flying on amphetamines. But, heck, let’s blame marijuana! Because it’s reported, but not confirmed, they smoked a joint before heading onto the line. Marijuana is an easy target. Mission accomplished Aaron Brown, you win for the most misleading headline. I sometimes let the author off the hook because the headline is generally written by someone else but Brown is an accomplice in the crime this time. The lead of his story is the marijuana use and, oh, by the way I’ll mention later, they were drunk as skunks and sailing on Crystal Meth.

This sort of thing is journalism at its worst. It’s designed specifically to be consumed by the anti-marijuana people of this world so they can pass it along in Facebook to everyone they know, that’s how I came across the story.

Always read the full story, my friends. Or come to me, because I do!

Tom Liberman

 

Saban Blames USC for Problems Misleading Headline

alabama-sideline-argumentTechnically the headline from For the Win at USA Today was accurate but I’m going to go ahead and call it my Misleading Headline of the Week anyway.

Nick Saban blames USC for heated exchange between Alabama players reads the headline. The implication is that the head coach of Alabama was accusing the players of USC for starting some sort of incident. Saban actually went out of his way to make it clear he wasn’t blaming the USC players.

There was a lot of trash talking going on from the other side, that’s OK. That’s their choice. They can do whatever they want. I’m not being critical of that.

Basically what happened is two Alabama players were trying to calm down a teammate, Ronnie Harrison, who was reacting to the trash talking. That caused a heated argument between the players. Harrison has reportedly apologized to his teammates.

Now, technically the headline is correct. Saban did suggest that the incident started in reaction to some trash talking by the USC players. But his point was that his own player was at fault for letting it get to him.

I don’t think it’s the worst misleading headline I’ve ever read but the impression I got was that Saban was blaming USC for the problem which he was not.

Saban’s final quote really sums it up. When you have a teammate who cares about you and is trying to help you, the response should be ‘Thank you,’ not ‘Screw you.’

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Gray Horn
Next Release: For the Gray

Maternal Deaths in Childbirth Rising in USA Misleading Headline

Maternal_mortality_rateI’m not sure if I’d call it a misleading headline so much as a clickbait sensational headline but Vox splashes the following headline: More and more women are now dying in childbirth, but only in America.

The story, written by Sarah Frostenson, is quite informative and interesting. The headline leaves it up to the imagination of the viewer as to what is causing more women in the United States to die during birth and the mind, left to its own devises, can come up with some interesting scenarios. Personally I was thinking that the rise in infections or perhaps more home births was the culprit.

But no. The culprit is that more and more women who are giving birth are dangerously obese. Deaths from the complications of anesthesia have virtually vanished, deaths from infections are about the same, deaths from hemorrhaging and blood pressure spikes have dropped. People who are morbidly obese put tremendous strain on their hearts and also have diabetes at a very high rate. Add in the stress of giving birth and there you have it. That’s why maternal deaths are rising in the United States but not in other countries.

Excellent reporting, well-written, and thoroughly researched article. Yay!

Clickbait headline. Boo.

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Gray Horn
Next Release: For the Gray

Tennessee Human Trafficking Misleading Headline

human-trafficking-misleading-headlineThere is a very serious subject that gets a lot of news these days called Human Trafficking. A lot of really good people are donating huge amounts of money to stop this terrible scourge. The problem is that it largely isn’t happening in the United States. It is what is called a Moral Panic.

Most people who are identified as victims of human trafficking were willing prostitutes. The police and FBI report large numbers but nowhere can documentation be found of the problem and those organizations cannot provide much, if any evidence.

Scam artists who claim to be victims take large sums from good-hearted people who desperately want to believe their stories.

This hasn’t stopped charitable organizations collection tens of millions of dollars and police departments having entire task forces built using tens of millions more of your tax dollars.

Case in point is today’s Misleading Headline of the Week which is blaring forth on every news website I monitor.

41 arrested in Tennessee human-trafficking probe

When you get around to reading the story you find that authorities posted ads on a website for underage girls desiring sex and arrested the men who answered the ads.

No one was trafficked. No one.

I understand my opinion on this subject is unpopular. I’ve had a couple of nasty Facebook exchange with proponents of the enormous Super Bowl related issue with human trafficking, which is supported by no evidence.

Just because I say human trafficking largely doesn’t exist in this country and that scammers are stealing huge amounts of money doesn’t mean I support human trafficking. That I don’t think many of the people involved in the efforts to stop this virtually non-existent problem aren’t well-intentioned.

I think people want to be good and this phantom issue gives them a chance to act out on it. They collect money, hold seminars, and fund police departments all in good faith.

The question I ask is if you would support a hundred million dollar, nationwide effort to stamp out the predations of the Tooth Fairy from stealing all those teeth?

Tennessee Bureau of Investigation, you win for Misleading Headline of Week.

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Gray Horn
Next Release: For the Gray

President’s Daughter Caught Flashing – Misleading Headline

Malia-Obama-at-LollapaloozaWe have a winner. Paula Bolyard from Lifestyle Magazine wrote a hit article about Malia Obama attending the Lollapalooza music festival. The headline writer picked up on the general nastiness in the article and wrote the following headline.

Malia Obama Caught on Video Twerking and Flashing the Crowd at Lollapalooza

Malia did attend the event and was dancing. She had a shirt tied around her waist and flipped the shirt up so that people could see her shorts. That was the “flashing” part of the story.

Bolyard mentions pointedly at last year’s event some people were arrested and treated by doctors. She specifically mentions cocaine, marijuana, ecstasy, and worst of all alcohol use! Underage drinking at a huge concert? Drugs? Say it isn’t so.

Not that Malia actually flashed anything or took any drugs but we must disparage her as much as possible despite the fact that she did nothing wrong. Bolyard writes in italics to let us know how terrible is the behavior, “… did she ever enjoy the dancing“.

As if enjoying dancing is bad thing. Well, maybe it is in Bolyard’s mind.

If you aren’t ready to be disgusted enough reading this article you might be tempted to go to page 2 where it is revealed that the Obama girls listen to music with bad language in it!

What a piece of garbage article and a disgusting clickbait headline.

You truly deserve the Misleading Headline of the Week Award. Congratulations Lifestyle Magazine and Bolyard. Well done.

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Gray Horn
Next Release: For the Gray

Nintendo Shares Plummet – Misleading Headline

stock-market-downThe New York Post wins the Misleading Headline of the Week contest with this doozy.

Nintendo shares plummet on fears Pokémon GO is worthless

It’s true the stock did drop 18% but only after an initial run-up of 122% after the wildly successful Pokemon Go game was introduced.

It’s a very natural bubble. People saw the company release a popular game and hoped to buy shares while the price was low and then sell them later at a profit. It’s the way the market works. Perception is often as important as reality, at least in the short term.

Nintendo as a company has been suffering in recent years and purchasing the stock is a risk. This article is, in my opinion, more bashing of Pokemon Go by authority figures who fear the game is destroying the social boundaries they rely so heavily upon.

Well done, New York Post. Winner!

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Gray Horn
Next Release: For the Gray

 

Radishes Grown on Mars – Martian Soil – Martian Like Soil – Misleading Headline

martian-soil-experiment-minScientists are About to Eat Radishes Grown in Martian Soil blares the headline.

The implication is that we’ve grown Radishes on Mars or at the very least that we have Martian soil here on Earth that we used to grow some radishes. The reality, not so much.

The radishes were grown in a nutrient poor soil designed to be similar to Martian soil. I’m guessing it wasn’t grown under the same conditions we’d find on Mars.

Interesting experiment, no, not even that. There are all kinds of people working on growing crops in nutrient poor soil. Pure click bait. The experiment itself, the story, and the headline especially.

I do love me some radishes though!

What do you think about the Radish Story?

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Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Gray Horn
Next Release: For the Gray

Shania Clifford Bumped from Competition – Misleading Headline

masonry-shania-cliffordI just read an interesting story that is generating lots of outrage based on, in my opinion, a misleading headline.

A young woman named Shania Clifford from Scioto, Ohio was the first of her gender to win the SkillsUSA Ohio masonry competition. She was then bumped from the competition as the headline blares: First female teen to win Ohio masonry competition bumped from national contest.

A reading of the story indicates that Clifford actually finished in third place but was given the gold medal because of a transcribing error from the judge’s sheet to the spreadsheet which calculated finishes.

Clifford was not notified but instead the competitor who actually won was told. He then posted the news on his Facebook page and that is how Clifford found out.

The organization certainly failed in a number of ways. The transcribing error was unfortunate but mistakes happen. However, not notifying Clifford of the mistake and explaining in detail what happened was dead wrong. There’s no excuse for that. It’s rude and also gives the impression they are hiding something.

They owe Clifford a much better explanation and I see no reason why they shouldn’t invite her to the finals in any case. But the bottom line is this isn’t sexism, it’s a typo. That is if the explanation for what happened is true. I do think the lack of communication on the part of those who ran the competition has opened them to questions. They should provide the original judges scorecard and the faulty spreadsheet calculations.

Even with that I’m going to call this a misleading headline.

Also, good job, Shania! Keep up the hard work. Even if you don’t get to the finals you’re on your way.

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Gray Horn
Next Release: For the Gray

Massive Recall isn’t Really Massive

Recall-HeadlineIt seems like not a month goes by without a blaring headline citing a recall of hundreds of thousands if not millions of vehicles. I hadn’t really given it much thought until recently but for some reason it finally struck me as serial Misleading Headlines.

The above image is pretty typical of what we see in the frighteningly bold headlines in all these cases. In the past I think my reaction to such news was probably pretty typical of what most people think. Wow! Insert Auto Manufacturer really messed up. This is going to cost them billions of dollars to fix. What a disaster.

I had these thoughts despite having vehicles of my own as part of recalls in the past. We all know the drill and yet we are still impressed with the headline and often click on it.

The reality? There’s no mystery. Everyone who owned that year and make car gets a note. The next time they take it in for service the dealership performs the fix. They do thousands of them, they have the parts on hand, the mechanics replace the part, probably in less than five minutes. The car is back on the road.

In fact, I’d be willing to bet that the recall actually ends up being profitable. When I take my car in to the dealer to fix a recall issue I usually get my oil changed or some other routine maintenance that I would normally have done a local facility. This means I pay the dealership for the routine maintenance, work if not for the recall they would not have done. The profit on the oil change most likely exceeds the loss on the recall fix.

I’d be willing to bet most people do it the same way.

So, there you go. Serial Misleading Headlines.

What do you think? Am I wrong?

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Girl in Glass I: Apparition
Next Release: The Gray Horn

Cheerleaders Distracting Misleading Headline

Cheerleaders-distractingTwo of my favorite things, misleading headlines and sports, came together the other day and that makes me happy.

In a football game between Toledo and Central Michigan the referee felt the need to admonish the Central Michigan cheerleaders for distracting the Toledo team as they neared the Central Michigan end zone.

Both the headline and the article hope to heap ridicule on the referee for his declaration. Isn’t it the job of cheerleaders to be loud?

On its face the headline and article by Sam Cooper of the Dr. Saturday sports Yahoo blog seem to have a point. That is until you learn the facts of the situation.

The Central Michigan cheerleaders were chanting snap-counts loudly and in the direction of the field in order to simulate the quarterback’s calls. This is, in fact, against the rules. You can cheer loudly all you want but you’re not allowed to simulate the calls of the quarterback.

The referee was fully justified in the announcement and, in my opinion, could have assessed a penalty. He was kind enough to give them a warning first.

Not only was the referee correct, but I’m of the opinion that the Central Michigan cheerleaders were engaged in bad sportsmanship. Shame on them. Good for the referee.

Congratulations, Sam and Dr. Saturday, you win the misleading headline of the week contest!

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Girl in Glass I: Apparition
Next Release: The Gray Horn

Jilted Bride – Misleading Headline

jilted-brideThe latest in my series of misleading headlines is a doozy.

The headline seems to indicate that Antoinette Sullivan went to McDonald’s with friends to lament the fact that she was left at the altar.

Nothing could be further form the truth. Her husband, with whom she has four children, and she got married in the afternoon. He then went off to a paint ball game with his buddies. He had full approval for this and there was no animosity from Antoinette. She met up with her husband and friends later for an evening of fun.

They seem like a fairly nice couple if you read the article. I must believe the writer of the story had no part of the headline.

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Girl in Glass I: Apparition
Next Release: The Gray Horn

Jagr and the Model Misleading Headline

Jagr-extortion-misleading-headlineA news organization called The Complex had their first entry in my Misleading Headline of the week just this past week but they’ve already topped it with a story this week!

Model Tries to Extort $2,000 From Jaromir Jagr With Post-Sex Selfie, Fails Because He DGAF blares the headline.

I’m very old and I had to think a while on what DGAF meant but eventually I figure it out, Don’t Give a Fuck.

The story involves an 18 year czech model who slept with 43 year old hockey player Jaromir Jagr. The story goes on to detail that she utterly failed in her blackmail attempt because Jagr isn’t married and doesn’t have a girlfriend so he doesn’t care. That she, in fact, has a boyfriend and was the one hurt by her attempt to blackmail him.

The problem is that she had nothing to do with the blackmail attempt. Someone else saw the picture and attempted the blackmail.

I’m willing to believe that The Complex just got the story completely wrong and wasn’t really trying to mislead the readers but the reason they got it wrong is because they didn’t bother to do a little research and that’s why they win my award for a second straight week.

The real problem is that their false story is now being picked up all over the place and the girl is being called all sorts of vile names. That’s just wrong and I want it to stop immediately!

I absolutely think that if an attractive 18 year old girl wants to sleep with a 43 year old hockey player, or, say, a 51 year old writer, more power to her! You go girl!

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Girl in Glass I: Apparition
Next Release: The Gray Horn

Dog Stoned for Days – Headline and Comments

Dog-Stoned-for-DaysDog-Stoned-Comment
I’m happy to report that my Misleading Headline of the Week and Stupid Comment of the Week come from the same story! That certainly makes my job easier.

Colorado Dog Gets Stoned for Days After Ingesting Marijuana blares the headline from a newcomer to my stupid and misleading headline category, Complex.

The article then goes on to describe symptoms that pretty much exactly match those exhibited by dogs who ingest chocolate.

Most of the comments on the article were fairly spot on in suggesting that chocolate was the cause of the dog’s problems, not the supposed marijuana.

However, an apparent animal lover posted a rant that is fairly difficult to follow because it’s largely incoherent. The gist of it seems to be that the media shouldn’t report incidents of animals being abused by their owners because that encourages people to abuse animals so they can read their stories in the news. Uh … no.

Have a great week!

See you next time with Stupid and Misleading Headlines and Stupid Comment of the Week!

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Girl in Glass I: Apparition
Next Release: The Gray Horn

Physics Defying Baseball – Misleading Headline

Physics Defying Baseball

In an attempt to make up for my lack of a Misleading Headline of the Week for the last few weeks; I’m posting a second one today

Eugenio Suarez attempts to field a ball that defies physics screams the headline.

Really a first rate Misleading Headline from Chris Cwik and Big League Stew. Not only is the headline bad but the entire article goes into zones of stupidity rarely seen. It’s really awful. You have to read it to fully appreciate how bad it is.

No the ball did not defy physics.

Tom Liberman
Sword and Sorcery fantasy with a Libertarian Ideology
Current Release: The Black Sphere
Next Release: The Girl in Glass I: Apparition – Release date: late August 2015